Mother's Day

Yes, it was Mother's Day on Sunday.  I'm not really big on contrived holidays.  You know the ones I mean - the ones where you are told to celebrate and honor someone because the calendar and Hallmark tell you to.  I like the little spontaneous bursts of this.  The times when the celebrating is unexpected.  That being said, I liked my Sunday.  It was full of my favorite people and some of my favorite places.  And the sun shone AGAIN.   I have a new and passionate love for the warm rays of the golden sun after enduring a very wet and grey Vancouver spring.

Mother's Day found us in North Vancouver at Lonsdale Quay, one of our family's favorite places to eat, stroll around and people watch.  Ellie has been asking to have lunch here again for a long while.  She has a bit of a love affair going on with the Halibut and Chips at the Quay.  I was all to happy to indulge her!  We ate our lunch outside and then sat on a bench watching the the boats and smelling the salty sea air.   I love being able to see Vancouver from "the other side" of the water. 

One of my happiest moments of the day was getting a very generous scoop of pistachio gelato to savor.    I strongly believe pistachio is the best gelato flavor ever produced.  Lime is a close second, but nothing can top pistachio.  Nothing you can say will change my mind.

When we were first thinking of moving out west, quite a long while ago now, I did a lot of research on different parts of Vancouver.  I remember stumbling across a write-up on a little village called "Dundarave" in West Van.  The description and pictures made it sound and look like the most idyllic place on earth.  Not surprisingly, housing costs in Dundarave are sky high.  We've driven through Dundarave, but we'd never parked and explored before, and Sunday seemed like the perfect time to do it.

It was quaint, beautiful, and full of people.  What a way to live - having the beach at your doorstep.  This prairie girl still shakes her head when she thinks of what that would be like and then sees that some people actually get to live like this.

Sunshine.  Pistachio gelato.  Sea air.  Happy girls.   

Happy Mother's Day.

Crazy Miles

This coming fall will mark six years since I began taking medication to take the edge off of my craziness.   I chose the words "take the edge off" deliberately - because they certainly haven't erased the craziness that is part of me.  Sometimes when I use the term "crazy" people look at me with curiosity or concern.  And that's ok.  I use the word with a touch of endearment because it's part of who I am.  Always has been.  It just took me a long time to give it a name.

The more I talk to people the more I realize I'm in good company.  I am surrounded by people who need help and support to manage their own version of craziness.  (You are surrounded by them too, you probably just don't know it.)  I have people on my road that embrace the complete package of who I am in a way that only they can do because "their package" is adorned with pill bottles, prescription pads, appointments, kleenex and unanswered phone messages - just as mine is.  The familiar refrain of "You too?  Me too." has played itself over and over in our conversations.  I like being part of this club.  There is no judgement here -  only knowing nods of solidarity.  In my corner of crazy stands my Joycie, and my dear one, Christine.

Mental health struggles are sneaky bastards.   Major life changes leave me feeling assured and strong and something I least expect will throw me under the bus.  I know that both of them will relate to this poem that I discovered in Shane Koyczan's collection of poetry called Our Deathbeds will be Thirsty.  It tells the story well.
_______

Circle


If you keep your eye on depression
and then back away


Spacing yourself farther and farther
but all the while watch depression shrink in the growing
        distance


when that tiny speck of sadness
vanishes from sight completely


it's as if at that precise moment
your periphery will catch
hands reaching up from behind you
to cover your eyes
and you will hear a small voice whisper
"guess who?"
_______

I was thinking of both of the women in my crazy corner and the sneaky bastards that plague us a month ago, when I registered the whole family for the  "Miles for Mental Health" 5K run that happened this past Saturday.   The goal of the run was to raise money for the Simon Fraser branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association, but also to publicly "out" mental illness and do something visible to work to reducing the stigma associated with it.

For me, physical exercise is a big part of being healthy.  I don't love running, but I love the way I feel when I am in control, and  I can control my decision to exercise my physical body.  When I am running, it is within my choice to continue to put one foot in front of the other, even when I'm tired.  I feel strong, powerful, and capable.  I feel a sense of accomplishing something tangible that I can measure and see the results of.   It's just as much for the mind as it is for the body.

And so Saturday arrived and after weeks of nothing but grey skies and punishing rain, the sun was shining and the sky was blue as we arrived at Queen's Park in New Westminster to gear up for the run.

We started the morning with breakfast on the picnic blanket...

.... and continued on with some dancing.  There was a DJ playing, ok?  And when Sasha hears Michael Jackson's "Bad" she can't be held responsible.  Maybe there is hope for her after all!

The day was made even better by having a special family from our school participating too.  Here is Evie, the little girl that Hannah babysits for sometimes and who I think is cute as a button, entertaining us all while we waited for the race to start.

And before we knew it, we were off.   

Mike did the 2.5K option as a walk with the girls so that I could run the 5K unencumbered.

I passed Mike and Sasha on the home stretch of my 5K.  

Here is evidence if you don't believe me.

And, we made it.  All of us.

We kind of all do "make it" - not just on the day of the run, but every single day.  

Having a somewhat crazy mom isn't always a piece of cake.  

But we figure out how to make it work - because that's just what you do.

I was thankful to have my whole crew out to run and cheer and recognize that 

mental health struggles are not something to be ashamed of.

You gotta teach them early.

I Know A Mom

I know a mom who does it all.
There are two little girls that she gave life to, and they in turn, are her life.
One is seven and the other, one.
Precious - with eyes that shine.
When the school door opens, the first one runs to her.
When I hold the little one, her arms reach for her.

She is beautiful - this momma.
Silky blond hair with the warmest eyes.
She knows how to laugh, and does it often.
She lives her life well.
Compassion and devotion for the things she loves lead the way.
Her guiding words to those little ones are the ones that matter....
"Be kind.   Tell the truth.   Make room.  Try hard."   

Nearly every morning she is up before anyone else.
A job waits for her - she has to go.
But before she goes she
      packs a lunch kit
      packs some clothes
      takes a deep breath
      wakes them both
      blankets in hand
      carries them to her car
      while they doze
      and drives them to her own momma's house.
She has to go.
But first a kiss.

She smiles all day.
That's the kind of job it is.
It doesn't matter if she was up all night cleaning up puke.
She smiles.
She serves.
She makes it perfect for everyone else.
She does it well - she's got a beautiful smile.
You'd never know she was up before the sun with two in tow.
You'd never know she can't remember the last time all she had to think of was herself.
Because she still smiles while she orchestrates perfection around her.

At the end of the work day she flies.
She's got the drive from downtown to get the little one.
The little one is waiting.
Arms open wide - she loves her momma.
Now off to school to get the bigger one.
Soon she's bombarded with tales of good and bad from the world of grade one.
The stories don't stop.
The words keep coming.
She listens to them all because she loves her.
But sometimes it's just too much.
Six year olds and one year olds don't know you need a break.
They only know they need you.
And want you.
Now.

Home again.
Unpack the day.
Cook.  Feed.  Clean.  Bath.  Books.  Bed.
Glorious bed.
And glorious quiet.
Not long enough.
Lights out.
Alarm set.
Fall into bed.
All alone.
Close eyes.
And get ready to do it all again.
And again.

She loves someone.
The little one, and the bigger one - he's their daddy.
He loves them too.
But he's not at home.
He can't be.
A brain that was left - not as it was - by nature and the doctor's hand.
Many days - in between the cooking and cleaning and million other things she does -
They go to see him.
He's their daddy.
Always will be theirs.
But not theirs at home.

She does it all.
While still dreaming and planning and hoping.
She wants it all for those girls she loves.
They're what she always wanted.
Just not quite like this.

I know this mom.
Strength goes before her and courage follows behind.
Looking ahead.
Two in tow.
Full of life.

Katie Herzig at the Biltmore

Nearly a year ago I was reading Donald Miller's blog when something he wrote caught my attention.  He was raving about an amazing indie artist he loved named Katie Herzig.  I love finding new, kind of obscure artists, so I checked out her music and promptly fell in love.

Katie's music is varied and crosses multiple genres.  She's got an sweet, pure voice that kind of rings, thoughtful lyrics, and she plays a mean guitar.  After listening to a bunch of her stuff, I found the song that clinched it for me - "I Hurt Too" - and officially declared myself a fan.  

A month or so ago, a friend from Winnipeg alerted me to the fact that Katie was doing a show in Vancouver!  It didn't take me long to suggest that tickets would be a great Mother's Day gift.   Mike is really quick with things like that when I strongly suggest them, so he ordered them.

The long-awaited show was Tuesday night and it was full of goodness with some sweet surprises thrown in.  The venue was the Biltmore Cabaret in Mount Pleasant.  I love this part of town.  It's probably got the highest concentration of hipsters anywhere in Vancouver.  There are lots of guys wearing plaid and sporting beards wandering around.  The Biltmore is an iconic Vancouver venue.  It's in the basement of a dark dingy hotel.  It's full of high backed velvet booths, embossed wallpaper and dark wood, and you feel like you're in a different era when you're there.

We arrived a touch early, so we took a little stroll for coffee and dessert before the show.

We got back to the Biltmore, got carded (yeah!) and found out that there would be an opening act  named Andrew Belle.  We had never heard of him before so we had no idea what to expect.  

Well, it became quite clear, quite quickly, that the ladies love him -  especially twenty-something ladies. He was surrounded by a throng of them the minute he walked up on stage.  He had some great tunes to play, and one of them has been stuck in my head for the past two days, it's that good.  If you want a taste of Andrew Belle's music, you can listen to Sky's Still Blue here.

Katie Herzig and her band took the stage just after 10.  Her set was fantastic.  She played a tonne of music, even indulging some fans in playing requests acoustically that she hadn't planned on playing.  Amazingly, there were only about 75 people in the place, so it kind of felt like she was playing in your living room at a house party.  Her band is incredibly multi-faceted with her bass player singing back-up, playing keyboard, percussion, clarinet, french horn, and ukulele.  Katie Herzig is quiet, unassuming, and very genuine on stage.  There was no pretense at all - which paved the way for some very raw and beautiful moments.

Here is the classic self-photograph of me and Mike at the show, posted here for posterity.  

I'm glad I've got a music loving companion to hang out with.

Whistler - Third time's a Charm

We had a chance to spend last weekend up at Whistler.   Our good friends own a home just out of the village and they graciously let us use it for the weekend.  Their Whistler home is beautiful and cozy and has more than all of the comforts of home.   

Like a hot-tub....

.... and a short walk into the village with amazing views.

After spending Friday night watching our traditional episode of "Little House on the Prairie" and playing a marathon of Dutch Blitz, we were looking forward to a day of promised sunshine on Saturday.  Thankfully, the sun did come out.  Mike and I were able to get a run in together in the morning and then we all walked in to the village for lunch.

We were all really looking forward to our customary lunch of Wicked Thai Chicken Soup and Belgian Waffles (no, not together) at The Little Eatery.  We marched right on up to that place to discover a sign that read "Closed for the Season - Will Re-open May 17th".  So with heads hung a little low, we went off in search of another option.

And we found it, alright, at a tiny little place called Ingrids.  Draw your attention to Exhibit A.  That would be fresh Focaccia bread, a thin spread of guacamole, Havarti cheese, turkey breast, a zillion veggies, and the best part - a layer of mayo and homemade cranberry sauce.    It was extreme deliciousness in a basket.

 Exhibit A

After some exploring we journeyed home for some more games and hot-tubbing...

 .... but we stopped to admire some amazing plants on the way.

Saturday night Mike and I went out for dinner to the Brewhouse - just the two of us.  Have I mentioned in the last 5 minutes how much we love having a 12 year old kid who babysits?  We had a fabulous dinner and the girls watched School of Rock for the millionth time.  (Does Dewey Finn ever get old?)

Sunday met us with a perfectly clear blue sky.  After another morning run, we walked back to the village for the afternoon.

Can you go to Whistler without stopping at Cows?  

We think not.

After doing a considerable amount of people and dog watching we decided to do some "Lake-ing" as Sasha had been calling it all weekend.  Translation - canoeing.  Our friend's left us their canoe and we were looking forward to some time out on Alta Lake.

But first we had to locate the paddles.
That proved a daunting task, but low and behold, Mike came through.

And before we knew it, the girls and Mike were out on beautiful Alta Lake.  I happily sat on the dock dividing my time between taking pictures and turning my face toward the sun.  (I hadn't felt it for awhile.)

Each of the girls got a chance to paddle at the front.

After cleaning up and packing up, we began the drive home.

I don't think there are many more beautiful drives in all of Canada as the one from Whistler to Squamish, and then on to Vancouver.   We stopped at a look-out just before Squamish to capture what we saw, but they just don't do it justice.

After stopping in Squamish for supper, we arrived home so thankful for the chance to spend a last weekend in such an amazing place. 

 We all agreed that we have to come back.

Student-Led Conferences at Confederation Park

Yesterday our school held their Student-led Conferences.    

The girls were very excited - especially Sasha.  She's kind of new to all of this school-stuff, you know.  As we walked to school together when Mike got home from work, Sasha was practically jumping out of her skin with anticipation.   She claimed she didn't want to go first, but grade one is where we began our little tour of what our girls have been spending their days doing.

Sasha's teacher has just finished teaching an amazing unit on Vikings.   She's done an awesome job!  The boys were really into the grunting and warrior-like style of the large bearded men, and the girls were all into the cooking and the clothes.  There was something for everyone!

Sasha's tour began with showing us all the Viking Village her class built.  

They even made Viking clothes for all of the Playmobile people who reside there.

Check out the real grass roof on the Viking house!  Miss Collins sprinkled grass seed and covered it with a thin mesh and sprayed it with water.  The houses have all needed their grass cut at least once!

Yes, I'm laughing uproariously.   Yes, my children wish I'd refrain from this in public places.

But I'm reading Sasha's Viking report and loving every minute of it.

I mean how can you not laugh with total delight when you see a picture of this little Viking girl named "Siv Mikesdottir"?  Mikesdottir = Mike's daughter.  Get it?

Miss Collins even made a real replica Viking dress for little Siv to wear.

I love how excited Sasha was to show off her work.  

Being in grade one is pretty great.

Sasha read us her story about Roger the monkey.  She's not finished yet.  

The tale so far left us wanting more, however.

Here's Sasha with one of her favorite people in the whole wide world, Miss Collins.  

Miss Collins has been a perfect fit for Sasha.  She's the kind of teacher who just floats around the room gently like a feather -  touching down when needed.  Her classroom is full of creativity, her voice is soft, and she inspires some great thinking.  

Next stop - Hannah's classroom.

It just so happens that it was Hannah's turn for being the student on the spotlight board in the hallway this week.  We had lots of fun last week choosing pictures and things about Hannah to display on the bulletin board which tell a little bit of Hannah's story.

Hannah designed an add for a contest the "Burnaby Now" newspaper was having a month or so ago.  Her design won, and she had just received a framed copy of her winning entry.  My favorite part about her add is that it featured a female firefighter.  That's what I'm talking about.

Here is Hannah demonstrating a Science experiment....

.... and sharing some parts of her writing portfolio.

And here is Hannah with her beloved Ms. Parmar (on the right), and her student teacher for the year, Mrs. Brown (on the left).  Hannah has been so fortunate to have Ms. Parmar for two years in a row.  She is such a wonderful positive example of a strong, intelligent, interesting, and compassionate woman.  She generates amazing conversations and weaves her own life into those of her students with great generosity.  What a gift she's been for Hannah!

And finally, last but not least, it was Ellie's turn to take us into the 

inner sanctum of her portable classroom.

She began by showing off the research project she did on Cerebral Palsy 

which was part of a unit on exceptional needs.

Then it was time to put Mike through the paces of a multiplication speed drill.  He wasn't messing around, even for a second, and got every single one in his two minute time frame. We all teased him afterward that we would occasionally glance up to make sure Ellie's teacher noticed how very quick and proficient he was.  We were all very impressed.

One of the highlights of this term for Ellie was having a lot of roles to play in her classes reader's theatre presentations.  Here she is with one of the scripts.

We spent some time trying our hand at building some geometric shapes....

... and doing a quick Science experiment using Chromotography.

Here is Ellie and her teacher, Ms. Safarik.  She's been a great partner in Ellie's school experience this year.  She treats her students like they are capable of doing hard things.  She gives them the chance to prove to themselves that they can.  She doesn't spoon-feed them, but gives them a lot of freedom to make their own mistakes.  Ellie would say the best part about Ms. Safarik is that she made them root-beer floats last week.   Let's face it,  that's pretty important too.

There was time for one swing on the monkey bars 

(which is Sasha's favorite place to hang out in the whole wide world).

Only Ellie would think of kissing her "guns".

We're thankful for all of the lessons the girls have been taught at Confederation Park over the past two years.  Mostly we're thankful for the relationships it's given all of us.  It will be hard to say goodbye.