His Name is Ralph Grimaldi

One of the very first posts on our blog was a short poem I wrote back in August, 2010, about a homeless man that I would see every day on my way to work.  I didn't see him for a few days, and that's when I wrote that poem.  He returned shortly after, and I have continued to see him off and on for the past 6 months.  When I pass by, he's often chatting with somebody (usually a woman) who has brought him a cup of coffee or some cat food.  I have always wanted to stop and talk to him myself, to find out his story.  Why the cat?  How did he end up homeless?  What's his name?

This morning, I opened the Vancouver Sun and found myself staring at a picture of him, and was able to read a full-length, feature story of Ralph Grimaldi.  That's his name - Ralph Grimaldi.  So, now I know his name.  And his story.  Or at least, some of it.  And why the cat.  It's too bad I didn't discover all this from Ralph himself.  I could have.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

The world is celebrating Chinese New Year, also known as the Lunar New Year.

The new year, which is the year of the Rabbit this year, begain on February 3.  The festivities last for a couple of weeks.  On Saturday, we were on our way to Capilano Regional Park for a hike and spotted a Chinese lion and entourage on East Hastings, so we stopped to get a closer look.

The next day was the big parade in Chinatown.  Before looking at the pictures below, you should really read Hannah's blogpost describing the festivities.  Click here.

Ellie and Sasha got dressed up for the event.  Sasha wore the Chinese outfit that I bought for her at last year's parade.  Yes, I've been here for over a year now.

Despite the rain, the crowd was large.  50,000 large.

The parade started off with some Chinese veterans . . .

and strangely, some bagpipes.  Not sure what that has to do with Chinese New Year, but every parade has to have bagpipes, right Mom?  What's that joke you like about bagpipes again?  Oh yeah - Q: What do you call a thousand bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?   A:  A good start.

Then the Chinese part of the parade seemed to take off . . .

Since this is the year of the Rabbit, there were lots of rabbits . . .

. . . even rabbits playing the Sousaphone.

And of course there were dragons . . .

. . . and people handing out Lai Shi (red envelopes).  Notice that Karla's hand is quick to grab the Lai Shi from the CBC girl.

People are crazy for the Lai Shi, reaching around, and over and basically right through us.

People aren't afraid to "get a little closer" to see better and get a better shot at some Lai Shi.  This guy basically had his chin on Karla's shoulder.

The firecrackers were very, very loud.  But good fun for the kids.  Looks like a few were a bit scared though.

Of course there were lots of colourful Chinese lions in the parade . . .

. . . and various dance troupes, starting with the very young . . .

to the very old . . .

There was a huge Chinese "God of Fortune", with a guy on stilts inside the costume.

We didn't see a lot of floats, like in a typical North American parade, but there was one:

The parade was so long, we actually didn't stay for the whole thing.  I guess Karla got tired of the guy's chin on her shoulder, so we went inside.  Even with the parade still happening outside, it was crazy busy inside.

We bought a few trinkets at this colourful booth,

and then bought the girls each a Chinese jacket to remember the day by.

A Typical Saturday . . . in February!

  

Dollar Store Balloons

This past week Ellie was invited to a birthday party of one of her school friends.  She's formed quite a little posse together with three other girls from grade two - surprisingly, none of them in her class.  She was very excited to go to Natalia's birthday party, and I was looking forward to meeting her family and experiencing Ellie's joy in being part of it.

I had emailed back and forth with Natalia's mom a few times to get all of the information about the party.  I had never met her in person, as Natalia leaves from another door of the school.  Ellie was getting a ride to Natalia's house to the party, so at the end of the day I followed Ellie over to where some girls were congregating.  There seemed to be one "mom" giving the instructions, so I walked over and said - "Hi, you must be Natalia's mom."  "Nope, I'm the nanny"  was the reply.    I have never been surrounded by so many nannies in my life - they are everywhere at the girl's school.   So off went Ellie with the Nanny with a promise that I'd pick her up later at Natalia's house.

I looked at the invitation and googled the address and discovered the street is on Capital Hill.  Capital Hill is a neighborhood in North Burnaby that borders the school.  It is literally on a fairly high and huge hill that  is home to some spectacular homes that have even more impressive views.  If you live in the right spaces of "The Hill" you get amazing views of the Burrard Inlet, The North Shore Mountains, and Port Coquitlam.  These views are absolutely breathtaking.   If you live on Capital Hill, you've got money and lots of it.  If average houses in average neighborhoods in Burnaby sell for no less than $800, 000 dollars, you can be sure that there aren't any homes under a million dollars up there, with most worth far far more.

Ellie has another special friend from school who lives on "The Hill" in a new house built onto the edge of the embankment.  Her dad just happens to be a former NHL player and coach for the Vancouver Canucks, and is currently a scout for the Philadelphia Flyers.  When I entered their house to join Anna's mom for a glass of wine and a visit one afternoon, I was awestruck by the beauty that they get to see everyday.  It did make me shake my head and wonder how I ever came to run in these circles in the first place.

SO, with address in hand, I drove off to pick-up Ellie.  I had a hard time finding the house - it was set back and low in a little crop of houses in an area that looks a little like cottage country.  Natalia's dad was standing in the front yard getting some air, so he took me around to the back of the house.  It was unbelievable to see the twinkling lights of Vancouver reflected on the water of the inlet.  I had to stop and just stare for a moment.  He led me inside where the party was happening in what a can only guess is the Nanny's quarters.   For reals.  There was a full kitchen and dining area, but it wasn't their "real" kitchen or dining area.  The Nanny was busy bustling around helping with the party, as was Natalia's mom.  For the record, her mom was warm, inviting and lovely.  I don't know why I so often fall into the trap of assuming people with a lot of money would be people I wouldn't want as friends.

Ellie said her goodbye's and thank you's and took a balloon on the way out.  I've often wondered when Ellie has an experience at a home that is obviously much more affluent than ours, what she thinks.  I usually let it be and don't really ask her about it which is what I did on this day.

Later, as I was tucking her into bed, she brought the subject up herself without really knowing it.  She said one of the other girls and her and Natalia were talking at the party.   Natalia was telling them how the helium filled balloons for the party had been ordered to be personalized for her online, and then delivered to her house.  Ellie said, "Breanna and I just looked at each other and said, `We get our balloons at the Dollar store'".  I laughed so hard at this story, and I don't think Ellie really knew why.

She's right, our balloons do come from the Dollar Store.  We blow them up with our own hot air and tie them to ribbon ourselves.  Then we use masking tape to attach them to the ceiling or light fixture or door.  She's learning that we put our own elbow grease into making a party happen, but other people have the means to do things another way.  Those same "other people" are often kind, caring and wonderful friends who have just as much to offer as we do.  There are also peers of hers at school who live in low-income housing complexes who don't have the means to scrape together the money for a party.  They've got lots of offer too - in most cases more.

And so continues the lessons of life, affluence, acceptance and in my case, judgement.  We've got lots to learn.  Thankfully there's lots to laugh about too.

For Matt - On his Birthday

Today is my friend Matt's 22nd birthday.

Matt is in Winnipeg and I am here on the Coast.  If I were in Winnipeg, I would take him out to celebrate to The Crusty Bun for lunch, or we'd go out to the lounge at Boston Pizza for his favourite drink, The Cocobongo.  But alas, I am not in Winnipeg, so I will call Matt today to wish him a happy birthday.  But I would also like to celebrate Matt on our blog to honor him today.

Matt is one of the most exceptional people I've ever known.  We met last year, just before Christmas.  I had heard about a job from a friend of mine to work as an academic support provider and care attendant for a young man with Cerebral Palsy.  After a few emails and phone calls, I went to his house for an interview on a frigidly cold December evening.  Matt and his evening worker, Liam, conducted a gruelling interview.  As Matt asked the questions,   I discovered a few things about him that night...  I learned that Matt was a Bachelor of Arts student at The University of Winnipeg where he was focusing on writing and communications. He loved to laugh, he had a great sense of humour, and he held Stuart MacLean and CBC's The Vinyl Cafe in high regard.  That was all I needed to know - I knew we were a great match!

That Saturday Matt and I had a trial run going through Matt's morning routine together with his friend Stephanie.  Matt needed to see if he thought we could work well together, and I needed to see if my back was capable of lifting him in and out of his chair.   I remember being nervous and unsure.  What if it was awkward?  How would it feel to be in his house with his family around?  Would I be able to adequately understand him?  Would he like me?

My fears were laid to rest that day.  Matt was patient and understanding as I asked one million questions of him and Stephanie.  He lived through a tediously long shower and was emotionally open and warm as I got to know his routine and his preferences.  Let us be clear.  His preferences swing highly in the direction of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and hockey.  That much was infinitely clear that day.   It seemed like we had good chemistry, and low and behold, Matt invited me back the next day to try his morning routine on my own with a bit of support from his dad.  That sealed the deal.  After that day, we made a schedule of when I'd provide academic and physical support and attend his U of W classes with him.

When you are working with someone in Matt's position, relationship is built quickly.  You are spending a lot of time with the other person and they are often at their most vulnerable.  This was a great gift to me.  Matt shared openly about his dreams and struggles and opened the door for me to share mine with him.  He listened intently and asked thoughtful questions.  He was honest and authentic with me and won me over immediately.  I was in awe of his courageous spirit and his fortitude in the midst of great physical challenges.  Matt and I shared our faith journeys with each other and we'd often pray together.

One of the greatest moments of my life was being a part of helping Matt realize his lifelong dream to go to the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver to see Canada take on the American team in men's hockey.   Matt invited me over to help him pack for his trip the day before he left, and he afforded me the honor of placing his tickets in his suitcase.  I'll never forget the phone call I received from Matt when he returned back to Mike's apartment in downtown Vancouver after the game.... it was filled with pure gratitude and joy.  What a thrill for me to be a witness to someone living their dream!

As the months went on, my relationship with Matt changed.  My back was not up to the challenge of lifting him, so the physical part of the job needed to be adjusted.  Matt found a full-time worker who could attend classes with him, so the weekly work was no longer needed.  However, our friendship continued and we walked through lots of challenges and goodness together.  I got to be a part of the celebration to see Matt get baptised at his church last spring, and Matt helped me through the transition of preparing to move to B.C.

One of the great parts of having come to know Matt was that my family got to know him too.  He stayed with Mike a few times in Vancouver last year, and my girls spent lots of time with him too.  They were able to see a young man live his life and exceed the expectations of others.  They were always interested in how Matt did things.  Sasha loved to ride in the elevator at his house and adjust the bed in his room with the buttons.  

Now that I've lived in B.C. for the past few months, I don't get to talk to Matt very often.  We spent some time catching up at Christmas and talked about the transition he would be making in January to studying at CMU.  Change is never easy.  Matt faces hurdles and challenges as he seeks out accommodations and support for his academic career at every turn.  But he is determined and his spirit is strong.  I know he won't give up.

Here is a picture of me and Matt taken last spring when Matt took me out to see Stuart MacLean's Vinyl Cafe live at the Concert Hall in Winnipeg.  It was a great night!

I'm not finished yet - oh no...  Matt - this next part is for you!

Two weeks ago, our family went up to Grouse Mountain for a morning of skiing.  I was feeling a little sorry for myself as I stood on the mountain watching Mike and the girls ski the slopes while my broken elbow continued to heal.  I noticed a lot of green jackets on the mountain that morning.  As they got closer, I noticed they said, "Vancouver  Adaptive Snow Sports".  I began watching in amazement as volunteers all over the mountain helped to make skiing accessible for those with various types of disabilities.  One group, in particular, caught my attention...  

There were three volunteers working with a young woman who appeared to have Cerebral Palsy.  I watched in amazement as they maneuvered down the hill with her on her skies, supporting herself on a wooden bar supported by two volunteers, while one followed behind holding onto canvas straps attached to her skies.  I was in awe of the creativity and adaptability of the situation.

I noticed her mom watching, and I went to chat with her as her daughter skied down the slope.  She said her daughter Cheryl has been skiing with the support of this organization since she was 12 years old.  She's 20 now, and she loves the freedom and adventure that skiing down the mountain slopes gives her.  Her mom spoke so highly of the volunteers who give their Sunday mornings to their clients, and of her daughter who has an adventurous spirit.

Here is Cheryl and her team riding the lift up.

She's not able to stand on her own, so she sits in a chair while they prepare to do a run.

Here they are, ready to go!

And they're off!

Seeing Cheryl and her joy that morning made me think of Matt and how much he'd love to see other people with Cerebral Palsy realize their dreams too.   I gathered up all those images and the feelings I had and tucked them away for Matt until today when I am sharing them with you all on the occasion of his birthday. 

May great joy be yours on the journey this year, Matt.

A Day of Contrasts . . . Kind Of

I was up early today, for a Sunday - 7:30 a.m. - to go skiing by myself, something I haven't done since last April when I was living here on my own. Over breakfast, I went to the website for the Winnipeg Free Press to check out the latest news from home and immediately noticed the current weather at the top of the page. Minus 32 degrees Celsius. Without the windchill. Holy crap that's cold!

Then I went to the "Mountain Report" on Grouse Mountain's website to see what the conditions were going to be like. Hmmm,  minus 5 and sunny. Perfect.

So, I spent the morning at the top of Grouse Mountain, sking. In the sun. By myself.  And it was white and glorious.

 

My afternoon was diametrically contrasting . . . almost.  

I went hiking on the side of Capitol Hill. In the shade. With my family. And it was green and glorious.